Daenerys Targaryen always waits until the final moments of an episode to demonstrate her actual powers and don those ‘deal with it’ sunglasses. There was an undeniable feminist thrill in seeing her utterly destroy the macho men who seconds earlier had laughed in her face and threatened to gang-rape her — especially as the head priestess of the Dosh Khaleen looked on impassively.
But it’s worryingly inescapable that Dany seems to require an awestruck brown audience (give or take a cocksure Daario Naharis and an old, weary and increasingly stoned Ser Friendzone) for each spectacular act she performs with her lily-white body. She may have sympathised with that young former khaleesi, and talked big to Missandei that the fatalism of valar morghulis doesn’t apply to them, as “we are not men”. But only Dany may truly fly free of the system. Missandei is now stuck in Meereen being slavesplained to by Tyrion, who was basically only a slave for an afternoon (more on that later).
This was an episode in which women step up, where men are reticent, where sisters lead their wimpy brothers, and where redheads smoulder… like Ygritte, the original girl kissed by fire. (Speaking of, I will never tire of looking at pictures of Kit Harington and Rose Leslie gazing lovingly at one another.)
There were three bittersweet sibling reunions this episode. In the first, the High Sparrow finally allows the incarcerated Margaery to see her brother in order to emphasise that she can help the utterly broken and hopeless Ser Loras by confessing her “sins”. Unmoved by the High Sparrow’s ‘Christmas Shoes’-style tale of religious awakening, Margaery is not about to do any such thing.
However, her hapless teen husband Tommen has played right into the High Sparrow’s hands by blabbing to his mum — just as the High Sparrow knew he would — about the “secret” that Margaery is scheduled for her own Walk of Atonement. Much as Cersei would love to see her Highgarden-and-mighty rival humiliated (“You don’t like Margaery, do you?” Tommen finally realises — oh, little buddy!), she sees Margaery’s walk as the perfect time for a military strike against the Sparrows.
‘The Rains of Castamere’ echoes menacingly in the background as Cersei and Jaime stride decisively into the Small Council chamber. For once they seem to have some political agency as they propose their plot to Uncle Kevan and the Queen of Thorns (who doesn’t care how many people die in a civil war, as long as it’s them, not us).
Now, I love Olenna Tyrell’s sass as much as anyone, but her ruling-class arrogance underlines why so many smallfolk have flocked to the Sparrows. Of course the Faith Militant will have anticipated Cersei’s trap; as the High Sparrow plainly told Margaery, these characters’ dynastic loyalties have made them shortsighted. They’re setting themselves up for a total bloodbath.
Meanwhile at Pyke, Yara Greyjoy has never seemed more like her father as she greets Theon severely in the gloomy hall. To Yara, Theon is a complete fuckup who fumbles every ball that’s thrown to him, and she’s not about to let him ruin her bid for the throne at the forthcoming kingsmoot. Of course, it’s pointless to expect cod-medieval Hobbesian fantasy characters to be sympathetic to the idea of post-traumatic stress. Poor Theon struggles to communicate to his sister that he’s only broken because Ramsay broke him, but Yara can’t deal with his sobs.
All her life she’s stayed afloat in this misogynistic culture by purging any signs of ‘feminine’ weakness from herself, so it galls her that some ironborn might still see Theon as a better heir to Pyke than her, just because he’s male. Even without a dick. Even though he’s a quivering, tear-stained mess. Her cruelty to him masks her own systemic vulnerability and frustration. Hopefully the kingsmoot will give both Greyjoy siblings some dignity.
At the Wall, Sansa and Jon share a truly epic hug as they become the first two Stark siblings to cross paths since season one. I really thought the showrunners would cruelly make Jon leave for the tropics by the time Sansa got there, but I’m glad they didn’t. Sansa has had one of the most intense character arcs of anyone on Game of Thrones. And the fires she’s walked through have forged her, like Valyrian steel, into something strong that can cut through ice like butter. Reading Ramsay Bolton’s “Dear Traitor and Bastard Jon” letter aloud is nothing to Sansa; she’s suffered his attentions in person and knows he means everything he threatens.
We know this too. So why did the show waste an entire scene on the pointless gore of Ramsay murdering Osha — a minor character whose death carries little dramatic heft because she hasn’t appeared onscreen for years? And am I the only one who felt Iwan Rheon should maybe have taken some paring-knife lessons before demonstrating Ramsay’s mad flaying skillz? He wasn’t very good at peeling apples.
I’m still holding out hope that the Smalljon is tricking Ramsay and plans to turn against him. But even if the Umbers are now fighting for the Boltons, there are still other Stark-loyal families of the north. I’d love to see Maege Mormont the She-Bear (sister of ex-Night’s Watch Lord Commander Jeor Mormont and aunt of Ser Jorah) enter battle. But I guess Game of Thrones is using Brienne as its stand-in for awesome female warriors — how great is the audacity with which she informs Ser Davos and Melisandre that she personally slew Stannis?
Speaking of the Maid of Tarth, the show has long piloted a Brienne/Jaime ship, but it now looks like there’s a new vessel at the dock: Brienne/Tormund. I am all for a fire-kissed wildling who’s keen to head south. But Sansa and Jon don’t yet know they have a new source of military strength: the oft-praised but not yet deployed Knights of the Vale. At the Eyrie, Lord Robin Arryn has gotten no better at military pursuits since we saw him last season swinging a sword “like a girl with palsy”. Lord Royce seems unflustered by this, since Robin himself will never have to go near a battle… until Littlefinger rocks up bearing a rad gyrfalcon and the threat of the Moon Door.
Would Robin have been less of a dingbat if he’d had a sister to diffuse his mother’s obsessive love? He certainly didn’t cope well with his cousin Sansa’s arrival. (Between him and Ramsay, Game of Thrones makes an excellent case against only children). In any case, Littlefinger’s long game is proceeding nicely.
What’s Tyrion’s long game, though? His decision to meet with the Masters of Slaver’s Bay and Volantis has alienated not just the freed Meereenese, but also his own allies Missandei and Grey Worm (whose increasingly proficient command of the Common Tongue perhaps reflects some diligent, hands-on study with Missandei).
However, did you notice that one of the courtesans Tyrion left with the Masters was Vala, the former Son of the Harpy assassin whom Varys was genially bribing last episode? What if those three women are going to kill the Masters behind closed doors — an act Tyrion can then blame on the insurgents? That would certainly get the Masters to withdraw their support for the Sons of the Harpy pretty fast.
Since this episode is about women taking the initiative, let’s briefly mention some of the Missandei conspiracy theories. One is that she herself is a Son of the Harpy — a double agent set to wrest control of Meereen from Daenerys. Another is that she’s a Faceless Man sent to murder Daenerys — which explains why she knows so many languages. Even if she’s neither, she is tired of being condescended to by foreigners.
Which brings us back to Dany herself, against a backdrop of flames. She now has the strength of the Dothraki horde… but what will she do with it? Leave more political chaos in her wake? Go back to Meereen and put her house in order? Or pursue Khal Drogo’s original commitment and head home to Westeros?
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